Forgiveness

A powerful tool for growth!

Forgiveness.

How exactly do you define such a vital element necessary for a healthy psychology?

 In the bigger picture you may want to sweep out the old hidden cobwebs of blaming, hurt and perhaps anger, grudges,  all of which you may have been holding on to way past the sell by date. By forgiving the “perpetrator”, one is able to unload one of the satchels of pain and anger, drop it by the side of the road and travel much lighter, much lighter. One can forgive anyone alive or dead by actively meditating on the wrongs suffered at their hands, and let these festerings fly, like balloons and travel much lighter, and wounds can heal.

Another way to unload these heavy feelings is to write in your journal, outlining specifically your grudges and how you will now let this go for ever, attempting to see the situation in the kindest light with love for the person in question, trying to see what their deal was. I also like to imagine reminding myself that I don’t want to act in such a manner myself.

When you think about it deeply, why would you want to hold on to these negative feelings/remembrances? I will leave that question to you to answer, be honest!! Think about it.

In the smaller view, we can constantly use forgiveness with all our immediate relationships, kind of like not letting minor slights, perceived “faults” of others, their unkind moments, bad days, etc. take root in our psyche. Let’s avoid the cobwebs to begin with!! So offer leeway to others, in an attempt to recognize their human-ness. Why does the holding on of judgment and the “woe is me”, work for us??? I leave this for you to decide. Think about it.

Can you now imagine who might be the most important person to forgive?? Of course:  yourself. Lighten up, give yourself a break. You may have guilt and enmity for yourself for deeds long since past when you were a “different” person. Though Remorse might be a valuable ally in helping you think deeply of how you may have hurt another, it is past business, So once again let’s let these regrets fly away. This is not to say that we just give ourselves a free ride. We should deeply consider our deleterious actions and vow to avoid them going forward.

Once again journaling is a great way to lessen your regrets. Address the entry to the victim personally, and ask for their forgiveness.

Another great way to lighten up is to write a letter which you can send or not send to the injured party.

How about a phone call? You may meet with resistance, but in the act of trying to reach out and help put salve on the wound, there is an immediate healing. And there may be some significant healing on the party of the wronged person, which doubles up your catharsis.

In the realm of the present, when you find yourself acting in less than a positive manner, through speech or deed, immediate forgiveness is essential. Forgiveness for your thoughtless humanity, and less than loving actions followed by a conscious intention to improve your speech and your  communication, by inculcating a loving, supportive, friendly  attitude.

I encourage your comments!